Category Archives: Family Life

Feb8

The Four R’s: Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

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The Four R’s: Refuse, Reduce, Reuse, Recycle

 

 

Jan. 2011 Trying to use less, want less, waste less… Today I created an account with DMAchoice.org to reduce the HUGE amount of paper mail I receive.

“DMAchoice™ is an online tool developed by the Direct Marketing Association to help you manage your mail. This site is part of a larger program designed to respond to consumers’ concerns over the amount of mail they receive, and it is the evolution of the DMA’s Mail Preference Service created in 1971.

For the purposes of this site, direct mail is divided into four categories: Credit Offers, Catalogs, Magazine Offers and Other Mail Offers. You can request to start or stop receiving mail from individual companies within each category—or from an entire category at once.”

I discovered a useful blog- The Zero Waste Home This family is light years ahead of most of us on reducing waste.  Bea and her family were the subject of a lovely Sunset Magazine (West Jan 2011) “The zero-waste home“

 

Among other feats, Bea’s closet is as close to perfect as I could dream.  She  keeps 7 tops, 7 pants, 2 skirts and 7 pairs of shoes. Same idea goes for  her husband and two sons. Each has 7 casual tops, 1 dress shirt, 4 bottoms, 3 pairs of shoes, & 1 pair of pajamas per season).   My goal this year is to develop a mindset that will allow my closet to more closely resemble hers by year end.

Thanks for the inspiration!

 

Feb 2011

 

 

 

 

Great re-use/upcycle project for Valentine’s Day!

 

 

Oct14

Do You Know Where Your Eggs Have Been?

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Do You Know Where Your Eggs Have Been?

Even though I live in suburbia lot, I want to grow my own food. If I have to supplement with ‘store bought’, I buy from local, family owned, organic sources who I trust to not contaminate my food with hormones, pesticides, etc.

Recently, our city changed an ordinance allowing residents to care for up to six laying hens. Tending my own hens gives me control over a high quality source of protein for my family.

We have been too far removed from knowing about the food we eat.

To a small-scale gardener like myself, chickens are “pets with benefits”.  I give them my kitchen scraps, and free range access to grass and bugs. In return, they give my family fresh eggs, weed and pest control, fertilizer for the lawn and garden, and loads of entertainment.

Hens are also  GREAT  intruder detectors! They are notoriously territorial so strange person or animal can go skulking through our backyard undetected.

I already mentioned the entertainment factor, right?  Who needs tv or even a trip to a movie theater with hens around?!  Nothin’ beats watching a flock of chickens livin’ large in the backyard.  There’s comedy, drama and action ‘o plenty amongst a flock hens. Just pull up a chair and don’t forget the treats!


These days, keeping chickens makes me part of the ‘in’ crowd.  People no longer think I am weird for having hens.  Some even keep them as inside pets!  There is a multimillion dollar industry that has sprung up around urban homesteading and keeping backyard hens; and in these hard economic times, that is a blessing on many levels.

Fancy chicken coops, chicken tractors, chicken diapers… just listen to this NPR story Backyard Coops Make Chicks Chic for more! Don’t stop reading now!.  Google information about your food, you may be surprised about what you learn.

I am grateful for the opportunity to reconnect with nature and provide healthier food for my family.  Hope you are motivated to move in a similar direction!

Aug4

Fostering Einstein: A Success Story

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Fostering Einstein: A Success Story

April 2010

Before being surrendered at an Idaho shelter, this young American Bulldog lived his life confined to a crate. Urine scald and feces covered his body.  He was malnourished and had not been socialized.  The neglectful owner said “The dog is too stupid to learn anything.”

 

Although shelter staff found the young male to be friendly and playful, his breed and lack of socialization made it unlikely he would be adopted.  As a longtime  animal rescue volunteer and lover of the “bully breeds”, I fell for his big personality and took him home.  Little did I know that this dog would be my greatest challenge.

Dogs end up in shelters for a variety of reasons.  Some are sick and need medical care.  Others are perfectly happy and healthy, but lose their homes due to death of an owner, or an owner may lose a job and the means to care for a beloved pet.  Other dogs have behavior issues from abuse and/or neglect.  Mostly, animals end up in shelters because they were poorly matched to the energy level and lifestyle of a former owner.

The majority of these animals simply crave what all living creatures need…love, a warm bed, proper nutrition, regular exercise, consistent training and discipline, and the gift of time. Some dogs take a short time to adjust.  Others, need the investment of a great deal of time, love, effort and money to be able to go on to live a good life.  Einstein was a dog who fit in the later category.

In  just a few months time “Einstein”, as he was named, began to blossom into a beautiful, healthy dog.  Because he spent his entire life lying down in a confined space, he initially had little muscle tone and even less stamina.  I found our first weeks to be magical.  Einstein had little life experience- watching him discover the world was  heartwarming, funny and touching.
He was neutered within a day of coming into our home, got his shots and began basic obedience training.   Initially his care was pretty easy.  He was exhausted most of the time.  Einstein couldn’t walk more than a block before literally, collapsing.  I  had to carry him home from short walks several times in those first days. His muscles continued to develop, but simply running across the yard resulted in somersaults and other comedic stunts.
Early on, his best loved activity was riding in a car on errands, which provided stimulation and opportunities for social interactions with humans and canines. He loved riding along in the car so much that for a time I had to drag him out of the car at the end of every trip!
Everything was new to Einstein.  He experience and skill set was that of a puppy, but his body and hormones were of an adult male bulldog.  Upon intake at the shelter he didn’t even know how to hold his bladder.  He would pee and poop while walking or even while laying down.  He caught on quickly though, and was housetrained within 3 weeks time.  I spent about a half hour a day doing formal basic training, but really, in those initial weeks we were living ‘in training’ with Einstein.  He was exercised each morning and evening, and every day was in contact with other people and animals.
As the weeks passed, I  realized that Einstein would need more time and training any of my previous foster dogs.   When neglect and isolation occur in a powerful breed like the American Bulldog, even an experienced handler can need help training a dog.  Many people were instrumental in helping to shape Einstein’s behavior in those early weeks.   He benefited from regular visits to ” doggie day care”, Wiggle Butts, where directed play within a canine pack helped him learn to read social cues from other dogs.

When Einstein began showing aggression towards other dogs while on leash, he lived with an experienced trainer  learning calm submissive behavior for several weeks before finally finding his forever home.

 

July 2010

 

Einstein, a wonderful family companion

Einstein was an extraordinary dog.  For all the suffering and abuse he experienced, he remained loving, intelligent and eager to learn.  He transformed from an unruly dog on the edge, to  a well-mannered, disciplined family pet.

 

Einstein and his foster family

 

 

Resources

forthcoming upon final edit

Pit Bull Rescue Central

Animal Farm Foundation

Don’t Bully My Breed

Best Friends Animal Society

Pit Bull Rescue Central

Aug3

Children balance joys and sorrows of volunteering at animal shelter

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Children balance joys and sorrows of volunteering at animal shelter

I have always been an animal lover.  One of my earliest memories is of  laying in the grass of  a neighbor’s yard, while a litter of puppies covered me with puppy breath, tiny tongues, and soft fur.  I have had many pets throughout my life, but with the current state of pet overpopulation in our country, I have begun to wonder about the ethics of “owning” another living creature.  Mahatma Gandhi said “The greatness of a nation and it’s moral progress can be judged by the way its animals are treated…I hold that, the more helpless a creature, the more entitled it is to protection by people from the cruelty of human kind.”

My boys, ages 9 and 11, love animals as much as I do.  In order to give my children quality ‘fur time’ and experience the joys of living amongst animals,  while trying to make sense of the sorrows associated with unwanted pets, we have been volunteering at our local animal shelter.  My hope is that by spending time with animals in such an environment, they will learn lessons that will make them better stewards of animals than previous generations.  

Like most public shelters ours is underfunded, understaffed, overcrowded and desperately in need of upgrades.  Because of the conditions that persist there, despite a dedicated staff, there are days when we are so busy, the boys don’t get to sit and cuddle a puppy or kitten (the ultimate reward)  before we have to leave; and though it has been a year since we started, they continue to want to go back.  We clean cages, feed animals, do laundry, sterilize equipment, groom animals, walk dogs, vacuum carpets, pick up poop (yea, not my favorite task,) basically anything we see that needs to get done, we jump in and do. 

When the work is done, the boys can groom a puppy or cuddle with a kitten

I do not sugarcoat the experience.  The work we do is dirty, stinky, physically demanding, and has elicited tears.  Yet, the boys find reward in the adoring gaze of the animals, in the wagging of tails that beat and swish when they walk by, and in soft, warm fur they sink their hands into on occasion.

Of course, their favorite part of being at the shelter is interacting with the animals, even the ones who aren’t ”pet shop pretty.”  The boys have been exposed to every kind of dog imaginable while there. Some are old or sick, abandoned by their owners. There are  those who have been, obviously,  physically abused or have been neglected and starved; and some who may not show physical signs of abuse or trauma, but are just plain broken. 

Hard truths about the failings and weaknesses of humans have become  apparent to my young children in witnessing the sadness that persists at the shelter; and we have many long discussions about how and why animals end up at there.  My children understand that there are legitimate circumstances such as when people lose their jobs and are no longer able to care for a pet; or when the owner of an animal dies. Harder for all of us, is to see a dog, so abused and distrusting of humans, it lashes out at us for merely appearing before it’s cage.  We have seen the wounds inflicted on a “bait” dog, so they know that there are people who intentionally harm animals.  Many tears were shed by all of us on that day. My children also know that people just lose interest in pets and they see the sadness and stress the animals suffer as a result.

Shelter life for animals is stressful at best.  Imagine being locked in a concrete cage with 30 other stressed and barking (often nonstop) dogs. You smell the fear of all of the animals there; the sickness, and death.  The animals sleep, eat and defecate in that small space. Scores of humans pass by the cages each day, poking, cooing and talking, but always leaving.  And still, the animals (the majority of them) want to be close to us.

We are constantly amazed by the spirit of shelter animals.  Most of them, no matter how horribly they have been abused, still trust that humans are good, and kind and caring.  There are days when I wish I had that same undying faith and loyalty in mankind, but 30 minutes at the shelter on any given day reminds me that some humans are not worthy  of such faith.

Fortunately, my boys are not so cynical.  They simply want to spend time with animals.  They find satisfaction in seeing a family consider a dog they have suggested, and joy in watching a cat, they spent time grooming, being adopted by a family.  More often, they are fortified, as am I, simply by the feel of a puppy’s soft tongue on their hand, and the purr of a cat as it arches it’s back into their hand. 

For my children, I hope the boys take away from their experiences at the shelter a better sense of how to care for creatures dependant on us humans. It’s a start to changing a bigger ideal, and that is enough, for now.

Animals are great teachers. Volunteering at the animal shelter helps my boys learn to balance the joy of caring for another living thing with the sorrow of  life at the animal shelter.  Hopefully, as they grow up, they will be kind and responsible stewards of all creatures.

Jun26

Shari’s Restaurant Holds Pie Eating Contest – Local News Story – KIFI Idaho Falls

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Shari’s Restaurant Holds Pie Eating Contest – Local News Story – KIFI Idaho Falls

As part of his summer fun, Jacob entered a pie eating contest at Shari’s restaurant. 

Assessing the task at hand- cramming a pie in your face......faster than all the other kids!

looking neither right nor left, he set upon devouring that pie

with absolute concentration. He made sure every bite was eaten...

and was declared THE WINNER!

He was awarded a $100 gift card to Toys R Us and made the local news

 

We are so proud.  Have decided to liquidate Jacob’s college fund to finance a career in competitive eating.  

 If you wish to see the local news story, click here.

Apr23

Random Crazy Things My Kids Say

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Random Crazy Things My Kids Say

From Berringer- He loves words and he is very experimental. You never know what he might say!

img_1951From pretty early on after Berringer started learning to talk, he would get in trouble for using ‘bad words’ when frustrated or mad so he started making up his own… a favorite was “poopy wizard” as in “you poopy wizard!”

While playing some ‘bang yer dead’ game with his brother one evening he was heard to say “Jacob, when you die, can I wear your skin?”silly-berr-1

Berr told me he was still ‘starving’ after we had just eaten one morning. I reached down to squeeze his skinny little knee and jokingly asked him where all of the food was going that we were feeding him. Not skipping a beat he replied, deadpan, “The toilet.”

2007 Just before Berringer’s 7th B’day he was having a conversation with his dad, when out of the blue he said “You know dad if I died on my b’day, you wouldn’t be coming to my b’day, you’d be coming to my death day.”

When he was 4 he was having a bad day and he told his brother, “I’d rather be dead, I’m going to lay in the street.”

“I only did it on purpose.”

“Nevah!”

“Yur killin’ me!”

206 In rresponse to my “Could you be any grosser?” (which was meant to be a rhetorical question) Berringer said “Yeh, if I wwouldn’t get in trouble for pullin’ down my pats.”

!

Sept. 20th 2008- Berringer’s first grade teacher hadn’t given him any homewor fin a few days. When I asked him about this his reply was “I don’t know what’s wrong with my girl. I’ll have to have a talk with her about my education mom.”

2008 Berr is 7. Lately, he LOVES to be a helper to mom. Every time we go out in the car on an errand he makes a grsat show teacher ha my door and bowing to me, and often calls out, “For you my Queen!” or some other flowery praise.

Nov. 2008 I had major surgery recently and was not supposed to lift anything over 5lbs for 6 weeks. I took the boysES tpping for clothes, and upon receiving our bag at the counter from the salesperson, Berringer shreiked “Lady NO! Don’t you know my mom is fragile?! Give ME that bag!”

2009 Berringer “Mom can you kiss this hurt spot?” Me “Yes- where is it?” B- “Here…and here…there’s one here, & there’s another, & here too. O shoot mom I just need kissin’ all over, but don’t worry I’ll keep my pants on.” LOL OMG! The things kids sa! Don’t

ou know in the car one day Berr said, “Mom, I think I want to be a girl. Why washis hurt boy?” I said “Well why do you think you want to be a girl?” Berr- “Because they are so pretty and smell good mom, and I just like them so much!” I had to pullorry Ion the side of the rode. Tears pouring down my face, I opened Berr’s car door, unbuckled him and hugged him as hard to e would let me. “What’s wrong mom?” I told him- “You just gave me and every girl in the world the most beautiful complimty apossible. Thank you!”
Sept. 2009 on a recent road trip Berr was heard to tell his brother- “I’ve been wearin the same underwear for like 20 days &it doesn’t and hutink!” Jacob asked “what’s your record?” Berr replied “I dunno maybe 50 days?!” A talk about personal hygeine promptly followed.

Sept. 2009 Got an email from Berringer’s teacher today. She let me know that Berr had a rough afternooner- had cried when two classmates teased him ake 20 is shortened name, ‘Berr’. The kids told Berringer that his name was all wrong because it was not says?ed the same as the animal. “Who was teasing you hon?” I t. 2009im in an attempt to open up the conversation. I had tt me know ty grin and giggle when Berr replied “T criel and Teegan”.

I will continue to add to this list as I remember things. I will do a sepat he list for Jacob.

ong becau”http://drgnflyz.files.wordpress.com/2008/11/3037182625_0268c554f8_m.jpg”>

Jacob ‘Ace’- Our more serious child. He actually thinks before he speaks.

I used to say ‘holy shmoly’ until this comment. “Mom, you’re never gonna be as holy as the Big Man, no matter how many times you say that. Why don’t you just give it up? I have never used that phrase agaeight=”240″ />

<st

2006- 'Foo-Foo' is his answer to anything he doesn't get his way to. 2009-"Snap" is now the word of choice when he doesn't like an answer.

Jacob, ever ging very compassionate, said to his dad, "So what was that one called; the ‘Go Away And Cry Form‘?”

We are all adventurous eaters, except for Jacob. I had just polished off some snails at a restaurant and there was one longish stringy piece left (an antenna, maybe?) Jacob asked what I would give him if he ate it. I reached in my pockets and offered up a peso and a nickel. He chewed and swallowed, then thought for a moment, I suppose about what he just ate and said “Mom, did I just eat a snail penis?”

Jacob, 9, had Daron and myself rolling toa>The boys were s to make sure that we knew that Nov. 11 was VETERINARIANS DAY.

Practicing cursive writing one day, Jacob’s hand hurt, and he said “Mom I know why they call it CURSE-ive!”

2009- Jacob googled his name and pulled up the profile of a successful adult in D.C. with the same name. He was so excited, then he got quiet and thoughtful. He looked up at me and said “Mom, this is some other guy. This isn’t like my future self, right?”

Sept. 2009- Jacob came in from school on Tuesday “Mom, I lost a tooth today!” “Okay,” says I “did you save it?” “Yep…Mom, can you just cut out the middle guy and give me my gold dollar now? I know YOU are the Tooth Fairy!!” “WHAT?! are you talking about” I say, feigning indignance at the accusation. “MOM, I saw those gold dollars in your car, and you told me you help the Tooth Fairy. You are the Tooth Fairy mom, I know it!” “Well,” I say, ” If you don’t believe in the Tooth Fairy, you don’t get the gold dollar!” He paused for a few moments, hops off the kitchen stool, and says “Okay, it’s a pretty good deal, I believe.”

Dec11

Watching Dragonflies in Yellowstone National Park

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Watching Dragonflies in Yellowstone National Park

While on a family trip through West Yellowstone, we were fortunate to witness dragonfly nymphs emerging from their skins and taking their adult forms. Watching dragonfly emerge from nymph stage

The discarded skin or “exuvia” of a dragonfly nymphdragonfly nymph "exuvia" or discarded skin

Having just shed his skin, this adult dragonfly still resembles his nymph self. But not for long. With each breath his body lengthens and hardens, and wings begin to unfurl…

This newly emerged adult dragonfly rests on blades of grass near the river, waiting for his wings to fully unfurl and his body to dry.2006-yellowstone-dragonfly emergence wings half unfurled

The emergence process from nymph to adult dragonfly can take upwards of 4-6 hours. Click here to see more about the life cycle of the dragonfly, or google ‘Odonata’.

Nov19

To Be Of Use

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To Be Of Use

The people I love the best
jump into work head first
without dallying in the shallows
and swim off with sure strokes
almost out of sight.
They seem to become natives of that element
the black sleek heads of seals
bouncing like half-submerged balls.

I love people who harness themselves,
an ox to a heavy cart,
who pull like water buffalo,
with massive patience,
who strain in the mud and muck
to move things forward,
as to be done, again and again.

I want to be with people
who submerge in the task,
who go into the fields to harvest
and work in a row and pass
the bags along, who are not
parlor generals and field deserters but
move in a common rhythm
when the food must come in
or the fire be put out.

The work of the world
is common as mud.
Botched, it smears the hands,
crumbles to dust.
But the thing
worth doing well done
has a shape that satisfies,
clean and evident.

Greek amphoras for wine or oil,
Hopi vases that held corn
are put in museums,
but you know they were
made to be used.

The pitcher cries for water
to carry and a person for
work that is real.

From “Circles on the Water” by Marge Piercy
Copyright 1982, Marge Piercy

Reprinted by permission of Alfred A. Knopf, Inc.

Nov17

Gone batty: My close encounter with a Hoary Bat

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Gone batty: My close encounter with a Hoary Bat

My son was playing with a friend in our backyard one afternoon, when I heard quite a commotion. He came running inside screaming. He had found a bat on a tree. Did I mention it was broad daylight, and that my son was (at the time) 5 years old? Jacob took me to the tree where I got my first up close and personal look at a (live) tiny dark brown bat. Hoary bat

He was clinging to the trunk of a pine, about 3ft off the ground. Wow. Of course the first thing I thought was…rabies. He wasn’t behaving strangely (except that he was out during the daytime, hanging out on the base of a tree.) He appeared to be calm, no frothing at the mouth (as we all have heard rabid animals do,) or aggressive behavior. I do not recommend that anyone handle an injured wild animal. Especially one that is found under such unusual conditions as this. Bats are nocturnal. They generally are not found in the open, so close to the ground.

I have a bit of experience in the area of wildlife rehabilitation, so we left the little bat hanging where he was while I googled information and called a few contacts. After a bit of research I decided the most likely case was this. Hoary Bats generally cling 10-15 feet off the ground in trees by day. This little guy was probably a juvenile or young adult who, after being exhausted from flying, had fallen to the ground from where he had been hanging higher up in the tree. He had climbed up on to the trunk where we found him clinging.

Hoary bat hangingI made a small habitat for him using an aquarium and a potted ivy plant (for him to hang on.) I helped him move onto my heavy duty gloves, and he just hung on. He never tried to bite me. He was quite calm and curious. We spend the better part of the afternoon watching him hang on the ivy plant, and explore his surroundings. I had put a towel at the bottom of the aquarium so that he wouldn’t slide around on the glass. Bats are pretty agile. After watching him move I saw there was a defect (possible injury) near the tip of one of his wings.

We went to the pet store and got a bunch of crickets for him to eat. I soon found out that he was quite picky. He would only eat if I fed him by hand. He also loved drinking water from an eye dropper. While he seemed to LOVE the crickets, he ate about 60 a day, he would not eat the heads.

I hate to stop a story before I am done, but must continue this later.

gifninja

Nov16

What’s wrong with this picture? A work in progress

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What’s wrong with this picture? A work in progress

This is a work in progress. As I go through our photographs, I notice the odd, weird and just plain crazy. On occasion I see stuff that is just wrong! (I never have claimed to be perfect.) I also notice trends in our pictures. For instance, we seem to have lots of pics with peoples tongues sticking out. go figure. Check back from time to time and see what new and bizarre things we are up to!

You know how products always come with stupid warning labels? Well this might be an example of why that is. “Hey ya’ll, watch this!”

Create custom animated gifs at gifninja.com!
Product not intended for use as roller coaster or rocket ship

Everyone loves to take pictures of their children. I am no different. When Berringer was a baby I noticed he could go from happy to pitching a fit in about 10 seconds. Here is one example.

crybaby

Missing the point
Missing the point

In 2006, we allowed Jacob to get one of those gameboy thingies, and he was so focused on trying to learn how to use it that the beauty of summer in Alaska was lost on him.

Missing the point
Missing the point
Nov14

Can Men Breastfeed?

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Can Men Breastfeed?

I breastfed both of my sons. I loved every minute that time. Not only was I able to provide them with the best nourishment possible, but we were able to bond on a soulful level. Breastfeeding is both challenging and rewarding. I never once wished to feed my children any other way. There were moments, however, when I was sad that my husband could not enjoy those quiet moments. Well, guys, if you are in touch with your maternal side, heres the evidence that, you too can join Le Leche League!

My son (now a well adjusted age 9) at 2, 'breastfeeding' his baby. My son (now a well adjusted age 9) at 2, 'breastfeeding' his baby.

This article was written by Shea Serrano and originally appeared in the September-October issue of mental_floss magazine. mentalfloss

Q: Can Men Breastfeed?

Odd as it seems, men can lactate. In their 1896 book, Anomalies and Curiosities of Medicine, Dr. George Gould and Dr. Walter Pyle recount several occurrences of men breastfeeding their young. The stories include a sailor who put his son to his breast to quiet him and started producing milk; a South American peasant who sustained his child with his own breast milk during his wife’s illness; and a Chippewa man who put his infant to his breast following the death of his wife and produced enough milk to rear the child.

The phenomenon hasn’t stopped. In 2002, a Sri Lankan man named B. Wijeratne lost his wife and was left to care for their 18-month-old daughter. When the child refused powdered milk, Wijeratne tried something different. “Unable to see her cry, I offered my breast,” Wijeratne told a Sri Lankan newspaper. “That’s when I discovered I could breastfeed.”

Wijeratne isn’t alone. All men can breastfeed, because they possess the two most vital components for lactating—mammary glands and pituitary glands. Mammary glands, which produce milk, are present in all mammals. In fact, they’re one of our defining characteristics. In some cases, such as with mice, the mammary glands of the males are too underdeveloped to function. In humans, however, they’re fully formed in both sexes, complete with breastfeeding ducts and nipples.

Of course, for a human to actually breastfeed, those mammary glands have to be activated somehow. In women, this usually happens during pregnancy, when the brain’s pituitary gland starts releasing large amounts of a hormone called prolactin, which prepares the breasts to produce milk.

All men produce small amounts of prolactin during their lifetimes. It’s released after orgasms, for example, and may be responsible for the associated feelings of satisfaction and relaxation. But typically, it’s never present in large enough quantities for men to breastfeed. Under the appropriate psychological circumstances, however, the mind can demand that the body produce more of the hormone. This often happens to mothers who adopt children and suddenly find they can nurse. And as Dr. Gould and Dr. Pyle have documented, there’s a long history of it happening in men, too.


Dec7

Family Life. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly-and Back Again

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Family Life. The Good, The Bad, The Ugly-and Back Again

For better or worse, nothing can replace family. As social creatures, they are an essential part of our lives. I spent much of my youth trying to save a dysfunctional family; then years running from them. Eventually I set out to create my own version of what I think family ‘ought’ to be.

I am now 42. My husband and I have been married for almost 14 years. I adore him. From the day we met, that was it- he was the guy. (If you do the math, you’ll see I had plenty of practice, so I knew.)

We were married for 5 years before we had kids. We came from similar homes, so making the decision to create new life (and potentially fuck it up) was huge. People often do not escape the ties that bind them to their history.

Our boys are now 6 and 8. It is both exhilarating and terrifying to be a parent. I would have failed miserably in this venture had I been younger and started a family. Through my experiences, I became convinced that my own family could be better.

Here’s the thing. I worked to free myself of the ‘baggage’ that goes along with dysfunctional families- I remember the shit I endured. I was raised to be a caretaker; a mender of people and things that, ultimately, could not be repaired. I have learned, instead, to use that energy to nurture my little ones. Being a mother is the best, and hardest, thing I do each day.

In spite of my dysfunctional upbringing, and maybe even BECAUSE of the way I was raised; I love them, teach them- and most importantly, set them free into this world.

I love every second I have with them. I regret every mistake I make. I try to make sure we laugh. A lot. We dance and sing; look for the unexpected. We think outside of the box.

Life is not to be endured. LIFE IS TO BE EMBRACED.

Aug31

What can happen when you open your heart and home to strangers you meet on the internet

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What can happen when you open your heart and home to strangers you meet on the internet

I have reconnected with childhood friends and college buddies through the Internet. I have used the Internet as a tool for getting to know several acquaintances better. I have even made good friends with people I met from, yes, you guessed it- the Internet. What started out as a google search for information about rocks turned into getting to know a family who, I hope, will be life long friends.

Last fall I was searching for information on geology for my son’s class. They were doing a segment on earth sciences, learning about different kinds of rocks and minerals etc… Well among the hits was Courter Resource Group. I noticed they offered an education program. So I emailed for information about a specific thing. The person wrote back saying the lesson I was interested in wasn’t available yet, but she would keep my email and let me know when it was ready for distribution. She gave me a few other links that were really helpful.

Some months go by. I get an email from Courter Resource Group. The lady says, “Remember the lessons you were interested in? Well I am taking a trip across the west this summer with my kids doing the final prep to finish that lesson up. We may be in your area. From Susan Courter”

Cool. I email back to Susan that we love visitors, and if they are in the area to give us a buzz.

And so it goes…we start corresponding regularly. Sending pictures of family members, talking about the journey they are planning; and in July the Courters arrive at our place for a visit. We had a blast. They will be lifelong friends. We talk on the phone every couple of weeks now. Email back and forth. Our children, though disparate in ages, love each other.

These people were meant to be our friends. It is as though we have known each other for a very long time. And it all began with a google search.